And yet, over time, certain dynamics tend to return. Not in identical forms, but in ways that are recognisable.
This is not a question of willpower, nor of insight. It occurs even after careful reflection, after personal work, after having clearly identified what was not working. That is precisely why the recurrence of certain patterns can feel difficult to explain: there is no obvious error, no single point that can simply be adjusted.
The issue is not the decision itself, but the way decisions are made.
Not all decisions arise in the same way. Some are the outcome of deliberate reasoning, others follow established habits, while others emerge when a situation can no longer be managed automatically and requires a clear, concrete choice. In those moments, there is little space for extended reflection. Responses tend to follow familiar lines.
This refers to how one reacts under pressure, when time is limited and postponement is no longer an option. It does not correspond to a specific belief, nor to a conscious narrative. It is a way of being in situations that develops over time, often long before it can be consciously identified or clearly articulated.
When this underlying structure remains unchanged, even different choices tend to lead to similar outcomes. Contexts, relationships and roles may change, yet behaviour continues to follow familiar patterns, because those patterns allow continuity without the need to question everything at once.
In such cases, change does occur, but it lacks stability. As long as there is sufficient energy to maintain control and sustain a new direction, the change appears to hold. When that energy diminishes, there is a natural return to previously established ways of functioning.
Change may happen, but it does not consolidate until the habitual way of reacting and making decisions under pressure becomes recognisable. This is not a matter of making better choices, but of altering the way in which choices are made.
There comes a point at which understanding is no longer the issue. Much is already clear. What is missing is not another explanation, but a shift in how decisions are approached and enacted.