In psychology, this is referred to as the locus of control.
When an individual believes that their experiences are primarily the result of their own actions, they are said to have an internal locus of control. On the other hand, when someone is convinced that they have no power and that their life is mostly shaped by the decisions of others or by external events, they have an external locus of control.
The probability of success in life – in any area – is significantly higher for those with an internal locus of control. This is hardly surprising, as someone who believes they have power will pursue their dreams and goals with determination. In contrast, those who feel powerless will either rely on others or be at the mercy of circumstances.
The truth is that all of us have power – the power to think and to choose. We are always choosing, every day, every moment. Every choice entails a degree of responsibility, even if we’re not always fully aware of it – because every choice has consequences.
It is impossible not to choose. Not taking a stance, not taking action, not voicing one’s opinion, remaining still or with arms folded – all of these are choices.
Each of us is responsible for ourselves and for our lives. If the life we’re living is not the one we desire, it is almost entirely our responsibility – because it has always been us choosing who to be or not to be, what to do or not to do.
When we take responsibility for our experience, we become powerful. We reclaim the power that has always been ours – but which we had forgotten – the power to choose for ourselves, and to create and live a life on our own terms.
In order to turn the page and begin living the life we desire, we must stop searching the past for excuses about what we did not do, or did poorly, or for what we did not become.
Whatever tools we were given – or not given – whatever our past, there is no destiny written in stone. There are countless stories of people who, despite coming from dysfunctional families and/or difficult environments, have managed to completely turn their lives around.
They undoubtedly poured all their effort into doing so – not without obstacles, hardships, crises, and moments of feeling lost. They made their choices and faced the consequences, but convinced that they were the creators of their own destiny, they succeeded.
They could have thrown their hands in the air and given up – that too would have been a choice, but with very different consequences.
It is always our decisions and our choices that either bring us closer to or further away from the life we want to live.
Take back your power – the power that has always belonged to you – by taking responsibility for yourself, your decisions, and by making more conscious choices.